Not Going Well

Things are not going well here.  Our dog Jake, who is fifteen and a half, and who I have had since I was 13 years old, is not doing well.  He is old, I know, and he has had a good life but at the moment it's not helping much.

This is Jakey earlier this month.  I will not take his picture now.

This is just unspeakably hard.  I feel lost and so unsure of what to do.  How do you decide when enough is enough?  How do you mourn for youself when you have two babies you are responsible for: one who is watching your every move and one is completely dependant on only you?  I can't escape somewhere to cry and I can't cry without escape.  How will we explain this to Joey?  He is not quite a baby and definitely not quite yet a boy.  I am afraid of offering too much and afraid of offering too little.  I know the questions will come. I normally at least have opinons on how things should be handled for and with our kids.  I'm not always right, but I have a direction I want to go.  I have no direction now.  I hope I have enough time to find a way to explain this to him.  Or for that matter, decide if the truth should be offered at all.

We have an appointment with the vet tomorrow, it is the earliest we were able to get in. 

I'm afraid it may not be early enough, yet that's not for me to know.

I'm hoping he surprises us.  He has before.  It's becoming clear though that if the time is not now, it is coming soon.