A Battle of Wills

Last night marked a first for me and Joey.  I write this for myself, because really Joe and I are on our first go around here and I'll probably like to look back and this later and see how we change.. or maybe how we don't.  We had a showdown last night in our house.  It was over a tiny piece of potato.  I said Joey had to eat it, he refused.
Really who cares about a tiny piece of potato? I didn't, but Joey would only eat the sausage out of all the things he was being offered for dinner.  Joe asked if I cared and I didn't, it was late, he was eating something that didn't fall under the same category as chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese, but then I committed the fatal flaw. I clearly stated to Joey that "If he ate that little piece of potato, then he could be finished and snuggle with Mommy and have some milk."  And he refused. Ugh. I had made my bed.
Before Joey was born, even before he was conceived, Joe and I talked at great length about the guidelines and overarching ideas we felt should shape our parenting.  I'm sure these things are different for everyone but the place we want to strive from in all things regarding our parenting is rooted in a small number of jointly held goals and beliefs. 
We agreed that we would strive to make our marriage our life's priority.  Together, within our marriage, of course our children are certainly our area of greatest focus and joy.  However, we will work to make sure that we don't unwittingly allow our children to take priority over our marriage itself.  We want them to feel secure in the love and relationship their mother and father share.  Sometimes we fail at this, but overall so far I am proud to say that I think we have held to this well.
We agreed that education and learning is of ultimate importance.
We agreed that barring a situation we feel is abusive, in times of discipline, our unilateral approach would be to provide a united front.  Everyone makes mistakes.  Even if we don't fully agree with the consequences being assessed by the other parent, for us, that will be a topic of conversation for after our children are in bed.  We will work it out between ourselves in private not in front of the children.  Neither one of us wants to undermine the other's authority.
We agreed that, at least while our children are young, we want them to obey us. As in, what we say is the final word and that is the end of the discussion. This does not mean we are opposed to explaining things to them,  it is more to say that we do not believe that their choice to obey should rely on a rationalization that satisfies them.
.... Dun Dun Dunnnnn and then our child turns 22 months and I say eat this potato and he says no and an hour later .... I'm sticking to it and he's still saying no .... welcome to life . Ha!
We agreed that our job is to love and support and guide together, at all times, in the best way we know how.

That's all we've got folks. Five things that we really believe, but we're so incredibly lucky that both of us truly believe them. I probably learned more than Joey did last night (as should be the case since I'm 28 and he's 1, ha).  
You better believe I'll be picking my battles with a little more thought; I'll be more careful about what ultimatums and conditional statements I throw out there. I don't mind sticking my ground, but I didn't really care about the potato. Once I said it though, I just couldn't go back.  I can work on that.
I learned that I am good at keeping my cool.  I was proud that I did not raise my voice or let it turn angry even once. This is not to say I never raise my voice.  I do. But this was not a situation that was dangerous and I didn't want Joey to feel scared or that I was angry, in situations such as this I just want him to realize what I say is what must happen. I still love him, I'm not mad, but what must be must be and I will wait.
I found myself literally thanking God that Joe is my husband while he calmly watched baseball as this was going on and smoothly inserted himself when Joey asked for him, saying nothing more to Joey than reiterating what I was telling him. I asked him if he wanted me to give in and he laughed and said he was pretty sure Joey was not going to give in.  We talked about it in the living room after Joey told us both he wanted to be left alone in the kitchen in his high chair (Ha!) and he agreed we were both digging our heals in, there was no reason he could not eat the potato and if I wanted to fight it out he would support me in any way he could.

My marriage is my greatest proof on earth of God's existence.  It seriously amazes me all the time that I am married to Joe.  Out of all the people on earth, how do you find someone who is perfect for you?  How does it work that that person lives in a spot that allows your lives to collide so you can even meet?  It just doesn't seem that it should be possible.